Fundamental Laws of Magic
by lizardcookie
Summary: There are certain rules of magic that Lily Evans would very much have liked not to confront in one day. What began in Defense Against the Dark Arts between two people avoiding the obvious ends in the dungeons, the same two people not the same as they were before. One-shot.


It was a deceptively simple task, thought Lily, to conjure up the happiest memory she could. She'd exhausted the obvious ones— getting her letter, the straight O's, even her first kiss on the grounds—but to her utter annoyance, the most anything Lily saw was a measly wisp of silver light.

Huffing in frustration, she stole a few glances around the room and was pleased to see some of the same struggle she was having. Even snobby Silvia Mark had completely given up and settled on sitting on the floor with her head between her knees for concentration.

_Alright_, she muttered to herself, _happy thoughts. The happiest thoughts... _With almost perfect timing, ruckus from the other side of the room rang loud through the classroom. She turned and saw Sirius on the ground, surrounded by the other laughing Marauders.

"Mr. Black, I do believe that's quite enough!" Professor Pinckley's voice came booming from the other side of the dungeon as the man himself made his way to the group of boys openly guffawing at Sirius, who was lying on the ground. And of course, there was James, wiping tears from his eyes as he tried to maintain his laughter. And of course, he wasn't doing a great job of that. He caught Lily's eye and gave her a cheerful wink as he extended his hand to Sirius, who glowered at him in return. Lily made her way towards them and caught some conversation.

"Sorry, sir," Remus piped up, trying to hide his smile. "Things got a bit, uh, out of hand."

"Hmph," Professor Pinckley quirked an eyebrow at them. "And I can safely assume that this has nothing to do with today's lesson?"

"No, actually," confessed James. "It was my fault. My Patronus got a bit carried away."

"Well Mr. Potter! It's nice to be proven wrong. For once your shenanigans have led to something useful."

James looked slightly offended. "Aw, c'mon, Prof, we're not always so bad." He motioned Remus. "This one's been good to you all year!"

"Thanks for the recognition, James." Remus rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Appreciate it, mate."

"Are we forgetting that I was just assaulted?" Sirius finally acted on his need for attention. "There could be serious damage."

"You were pinned by a clump of light, Padfoot."

"Nobody asked you, Moony."

"What? You just-"

"Boys!" Professor Pinckley had finally endured enough of the Marauder interaction. "Mr. Potter, if you'll kindly control yourself in this setting, thank you. I expect all of you to have at least a shield by the end of this lesson. Mr. Hornsby! That better be Defense work on your desk!" Pinckley shuffled off to deal with Hornsby, allowing Lily to reach the Marauders uninhibited.

"Did I hear right, James?" She asked, trying to keep any sort of jealousy out of her voice. He beamed at her as she drew nearer. "You got a corporeal one? A real Patronus?"

His smile faltered. "Well, technically, I guess no. But it was close enough!" He added, and that smile went back full voltage.

"What memory did you use? I'm running low and getting nowhere."

"Now, Lily, what's the fun in telling you all my secrets?" He tapped his nose with his index finger humorously, but his eyes lingered a bit too long on hers to be considered casual, and there was a new slump in his shoulders as he turned away from her. Lily frowned in confusion.

"So?" She prodded, hoping to draw him back. James looked inquiringly back at her, a new guarded look about his face. She pressed on. "What was it? What's your animal?"

"Oh, that." He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "Couldn't quite make it out, but I've got a pretty good idea to what it was. No, no," James continued, seeing the question still on Lily's face. "You get yours and then we'll talk."

"Deal."

And so Lily and James separated, enough people between them so that their work was hidden from the other. In her corner, Lily kept up the James-train of thought she had been keeping for weeks. She couldn't quite identify the feeling in her chest whenever she thought about James too long. It was confusing and scary, but most of all, it was happy.

_That's it,_ Lily realized as she closed her eyes and held up her wand. Patrols, last night. The joke he made about something trivial, and the way the two of them had collapsed against the wall in laughter. That certainly had been happy. She held her wand up.

"Expecto Patronum!" And finally, Lily felt her wand pull as the charm worked through her. Coming forth in billows, a large shape of silver light stood in front of her for a moment or two before flickering out.

"Ho ho, Miss Evans! That was wonderful!" Professor Pinckley had been standing a bit off from her but now came waddling towards Lily. "Very nice, my dear."

"Thank you, sir."

"That memory, however, is still not strong enough. It's getting there, though." He stroked his chin and gave side long glance at Lily. "Mind if I ask what it was?"

"It was nothing big, really." Lily said, but she could feel the heat rise in her face. She forced herself not to look at James. "Just of a few laughs is all."

"Well," Professor Pinckley said and tapped his forehead. "Think a bit more. Keep to the same path, but not as shallow. Anyone can laugh at anything. Simple happiness gets you a good start, but might not finish the job. Think joy, relief, love. Something that made your inner self- your patronus, your soul- really feel." And with that, the man turned on his heel and headed across the room to a group of Slytherins who hadn't lifted their wands all lesson, but Lily knew exactly what memory she needed to use. How she knew this one would work, she did not know.

It was two weeks ago that Petunia's letter had somehow found its way here, straight from Petunia's new flat outside of Surrey, and Lily had been so excited to see her sister's neat, tiny handwriting sprawled across the paper. She waited until after dinner, however, to read it. Lily knew that this letter meant a new communication for her and Petunia and needed special attention. This flimsy piece of Muggle paper was hope. And so when she had to wait for James inside the Great Hall at eleven that evening (he was coming from a late Quidditch practice), she plopped herself atop the Hufflepuff table and carefully opened the envelope.

_Lily_, the letter read,

_I hope this reaches you timely. I couldn't trust mum to send it off, though, and I needed you to get this in private; mum doesn't need this. _

_As you know, Vernon's family is coming to stay with us for Christmas, and I simply think it would be disastrous for you to be there. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley are upstanding people, and I don't want them to know, or catch a glimpse, of what really lives in the Evans' household. _

_I'm sorry, Lily, but it has to be done. Their visit completely overlaps with your holiday from school. _

_I don't want you to ruin the best part of my life as of now. It's a necessary cost, Lily. Just write Mum that you want to stay at school. Make up an excuse. _

_Maybe at Easter you can come home. _

_Petunia_

So, that was it. Lily had seen it coming, of course, but she had hoped... No. This was official. There was no saving Petunia from Vernon or from her hatred of Lily. This was it, and it killed Lily inside. With trembling hands, she set the letter down by her side, put her head in her hands, and tried not to cry- and failed. Heaving sobs ripped through her body, bringing her back to all the fights that she and Petunia would have when they were young. They'd yell about whose turn it was on the swing, or who really owned that raggedy doll, or whose hair was a prettier color. At the end of those, they'd have five minutes of silence before running back to each other, as sisters would. That was then, and _this_, this feeling of utter rejection, was now.

For how long she was alone, Lily was not sure. All she knew was that if anyone found her, embarrassing and potentially problematic situations would definitely arise. She knew she needed to get out of the Great Hall, but beyond that, she had no idea. _To the dungeons _flashed across her mind, and she stumbled off the table to make her way out of the Great Hall. Stupid, really, but brewing a potion was the first solution that came to her. Blindly, Lily shuffled off of Hufflepuff's table and ran to the exit without any care for appearances. Right as she passed through the door way, however, she collided into something quite solid and warm, eliciting a small _hmph _from her victim.

"Lily?" James choked out, coughing. He had finally arrived after showering from Quidditch practice, and Lily had accidently knocked him in the gut. His inquiry turned into more confusion as she darted down the corridor. "Lily? Lily! What are you-?" But she kept running, ignoring his calls. The very last thing Lily wanted was to confront James at this moment, in a state of mind that she had no control of, because control was precisely what Lily needed around James these days.

A hand wrapped around her elbow, forcing her to turn around. James wore an expression of calm, but Lily could sense the confusion and panic beneath the mask of control as she looked up into his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from in front of her face, his fingers lingering as he tucked it behind her ear.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Did someone attack you? Are you-?"

"No," Lily choked out, "no, it's nothing, I'm over reacting... Let me go..."

"Where are you going?"

She could finally realize the stupidity of her rash decision a few moments ago as she admitted the truth to James. "The dungeons. I wanted to brew..."

Anger flashed across James' face. "Lily," he breathed, exasperated, "that is the worst idea I have ever heard, and _you_, of all people, to wander near the Slytherin's turf alone, _Merlin_. You're in no state of mind for anything right now, and a duel would land you in St. Mungo's for sure. _Christ_." And despite the fact that he was reprimanding her, and that he was right, and that it was a terrible decision, James pulled Lily to him in a tight embrace and she threw her arms around his neck, both disregarding that they were _just _friends and that _just _friends wouldn't want to deal with the breakdown she was at the moment in such a manner as this. It didn't matter.

"Hey," he muttered as Lily instinctively buried her head in the crook of his neck, "it'll be okay. Whatever this is." But even he knew that was a lie. Lily Evans had never been this way before, and it scared James. She continued her muffled sobbing, and there was an mutual understanding that there would be no patrolling that night.

"I'm sorry I'm a wreck," she somehow got out as soon as she could catch her breath. "You shouldn't have to..."

"No," he interrupted her, his hand stroking her hair (she tried to ignore how good that felt). He looked her in the eye, a serious expression highlighting the gold in his eyes, "Don't be sorry for anything, Lily. Let out whatever just happened." And so they stood there together, just outside of the Great Hall, as Lily allowed herself to sink further into James' steady breathing and hair stroking. She gave a small hiccup.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked her, pulling away and looking her in the eye. She shook her head slowly.

"It's... complicated. And painful."

"Sounds like a trip to the kitchens, then."

And so they walked and they talked. Lily told James about Petunia and about the time she performed magic out of school in a foolish attempt to entertain her, and then about Vernon and his belly full of hate and then the upcoming wedding. Sitting with James across the table, finishing the last of the treacle tart from dinner, Lily felt an overflowing amount of emotion for the boy. Relief that he was there to listen, embarrassment for her earlier actions, joy in his attention, and more that made her head spin.

All this flashed through Lily's mind as Professor Pinckley ambled away as Lily brought her focus back to the task on hand. If a Patronus needed emotion, well, she could provide. As she closed her eyes, she could hear James' laughter from across the room. She tightened the hold on her wand.

"Expecto Patronum," Lily said clearly, this time feeling the charm work through her chest to her finger tips, magic channeling from herself to her wand as a conduit. She opened her eyes.

A magnificent doe greeted her vision, a silvery image of light that wavered in the dim classroom. She gave a laugh of delight, giddy that this pretty creature was her own being manifested into the material. The doe dipped her head low before prancing around Lily at full speed and then ran across the room. It stopped behind James, who had his back turned, and faded into the atmosphere. Giggling with success, Lily followed the path of her Patronus to creep up behind him in time for her to hear James say _Expecto Patronum_ in a light voice- and from his wand galloped something bright, brilliant, and huge. He laughed as his Patronus trotted in a circle, spinning James around to face Lily, who had a look of utter horror on her face.

And Lily, being the mature Head Girl she was, _ran_.

Never before had James resented losing the Map more than he did that evening. As a general policy, he had never used the Marauder's Map for any purpose but those of a marauder-y intent, but he felt that this was a special situation. Lily Evans had avoided him for far too long.

There had once been days where she could avoid him with good reason. James had been a right little prick (and still was, in some ways) but this time he honestly had no clue as to what he had done wrong and earn Lily's abandonment. And back in Fourth and Fifth Year, Lily could avoid James with no consequence. Now as Heads, they had partner work to attend to and prefect meetings to plan. It had been over a day since he laid eyes on the redhead after she literally bolted from Defense on Friday afternoon, and as it was now Saturday evening, James was worried. If he had screwed up in any way, he would like to know, because he didn't think he was imagining a lot of what was going on between him and Lily lately.

"Mate," Sirius jabbed his fork at James, succeeding in flinging food across the table as he spoke. "Take it as a sign. Evans is off her rocker. She's never skipped class like that. Bad omen."

Peter slumped in his seat. "I can't believe I missed this to sit in the Hospital Wing."

"That'll teach you to not eat out of my trunk, you tosser." Sirius told Peter.

"How was I supposed to know the chocolate had pixie eggs laced in them? Could have told us they were for a prank."

Sirius huffed. "I don't have to tell you everything. A man can have his secrets."

"But Padfoot-" Peter whined.

"He's got a point, Peter." Remus intervened reasonably. "Don't steal other people's chocolate. But back to the point on hand. James, you really haven't seen her since yesterday afternoon?" James groaned.

"Not a sight. I turned around and there she was, just... The look on her face. She bolted, and for once I can honestly say that I have not done anything wrong." He rubbed his temples in an effort to think clearly, but to no avail. She was nowhere to be found, not in the Library or Common Room or Dorm Room or Kitchens or grounds or- and then he knew exactly where Lily liked most to be when she was upset. Without a word to the other three boys he was sitting with, James stood up from the table and marched out of the Great Hall, very much convinced that this was the last time he could handle an episode like this from Lily Evans.

Making his way to the dungeons yielded no trouble for James, but he couldn't help feeling apprehensive as he stood with his hand on the heavy brass knob. He inhaled deeply as he opened the door, but what he saw inside was enough to make him lose his breath. Swirls of brilliant color and smells attacked his senses, and in the middle of three cauldrons sat Lily with her head in her hands. She looked exhausted, but in the presence of whatever she was brewing, James could see a physical glow about her, like the sunrise. He tried to speak, but found that no words could come forth. The door clicked shut and Lily looked up. She sighed.

"I was wondering when you'd come."

Slowly, James could feel himself adjust to the room and could feel emotions outside of the awe she inspired at the moment. In fact, anger was seeping in rather quickly. Curse whatever force made him find Lily as infuriating as she was infatuating. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door, simply looking at her. She was the one who had to do the talking this time, and he would enjoy that.

Lily sighed again and rubbed her forehead. "I hope you're happy. I made three, James, _three _different batches of Amortentia for good measure. And surprise, there's no difference in any of them. All the same scents and colors."

He found it hard to think in here, surrounded by seductive scents and haze. "I didn't realize Amortentia would produce all," he gestured around the room with his hand, signifying the smoke, "this."

"Normally it doesn't," Lily stated matter of factly. "However, depending on the strength in brew, quality, and quantity, it can hold stronger effects than one batch. Slughorn was in here earlier." She continued in the same monotone voice. "Said he'd never seen a finer or more powerful brew. Offered me extra credit, but I don't need it."

So that would explain the sensation overload he felt in here if there were three identical batches of the most powerful love potion in the world. He stayed at his spot by the door, however, and simply watched Lily, confused by her despondency because all of he knew of Lily until this moment had been driven by fierce emotion. It both puzzled and annoyed James, who now almost regretted searching her out if she were simply to sit and barely acknowledge his presence. Just as he resigned himself to leave this dungeon and any hope he had of breaking through to her, Lily spoke.

"Roses," James heard her mutter, her voice distant, "like the ones my dad would tend to back home. He had always been fond of gardening... Firewood, because it reminds me of Hogwarts and of the winter and snow. And then," finally, Lily met James' eye and swallowed as she finished, much louder than when she had started, "old leather. With broom varnish."

He held her gaze as he walked towards Lily, her eyes wide. He pulled the stool from underneath the table and sat down next to her. It was time, James realized, to finally admit what he had suspected for years and learned for certain early last year. She had a right to know, after all. He ran a hand through his hair.

"The Forbidden Forest, for starters, because of various and potentially obvious reasons." James was pleased to see Lily give a small smile at that. He continued, "Fresh linen, because it reminds me of home. And lastly, this perfume that I can't quite describe except for the fact that you're wearing it right now."

The silence that followed was heavy, but not awkward. Lily and James sat next to each other, trying understanding that the other one, according to laws of magic, was the person they desired above all else.

"So this is it, then." She sighed, staring at her hands, still as despondent as before.

"Well," James bit out impatiently, hating the shell the Lily was at the moment, hating that he was happy beyond belief right now and couldn't show that. It only hurt more when he saw emotionless Lily beside him. "I'm sorry that this is such devastating news. I'll leave you alone then."

"What?" She looked panicked. "James, no, that's not how I meant it at all."

"Maybe it doesn't mean anything anyway, right?" He continued, wanting more and more to back out of the door and forget about this conversation. "Just temporary attraction." Sure. "It doesn't mean anything except that we both fancy each other right now." Fancy was a light term, and James knew that. "I'll just... Leave you here. It's clear that you don't want this kind of news, so-"

"James, stop that right now. You misunderstood me." And finally, Lily was reacting with emotion. Cheeks tinted red in frustration, she jumped off of her stool and strode to the opposite end of the classroom in an attempt to regain composure.

"So why are you acting like this is the worst possible thing to happen to you?" He had opened his heart to her, only to be left hurt and confused and he couldn't take much longer of it.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm confused." She folded her arms, ready for whatever storm she was stirring. "Maybe, just maybe, it's difficult for me to trust anyone now after Snape and Petunia, but somehow you, James, managed to become the one person I can solely rely on. Maybe," and at this she looked down and played with the hem of her robe. "Maybe I'm just terrified of it all."

James regretted his temper. "Lily, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean to-"

"Let me finish." She said quietly. "I don't think you understand just how much this, this _thing_, scares me... I'm not myself anymore. I can't think, can't see straight because wherever I go, you're just... There. All the time. Next to me in person, or in my head, and James," she finally lifted her eyes to his again, "James, it scares me to no end."

"But the potions might still be inaccurate." He was determined to exhaust every option before he would allow himself to feel anything more. Lily shook her head.

"Even if that were the case, there's another thing... Your Patronus, James. It's a stag."

He kept his stoic look. "Am I finally going to learn why you ran off like a madwoman yesterday? Because trust me I would like to know."

She smiled softly. "Sorry about that. I was being silly, I guess. I had a good reason though. Did you see what mine was?" James shook his head. "Do you want to know?" Without waiting for his approval, she closed her eyes and turned from him, muttering _Expecto Patronum _and feeling her wand pull. James' eyes grew wide in disbelieve as her doe leapt into the air above them, running round their heads before fading into the mist in the room. Lily faced James with an expression of shyness and fear, still glowing with the effect of Amortentia around her. Without a word, James rushed across the classroom (knocking over their stools in the process) and grabbed hold of her shoulders.

"Lily Evans, listen to me." James spoke with all the emotion he could now allow himself to feel, so full of everything that he was physically bouncing on his toes. "I am scared out of my mind, just like you. I'm scared of this war. I'm scared for my family, my friends, but God, am I scared for _you_." He cupped her face in his hands, and she caught her breath. "And before just now, I was scared that I'd never be good enough for you, and that you'd never see me as anything more than what I used to be. But apparently I'm wrong, and I've never been more proud to be. Lily, say the word and we'll forget this happened." He hated those words. "But dammit, I don't want to forget it. Say the word, Lily, and we can finally stop denying what we both so obviously know."

There was a moment in which Lily held his gaze, the air around them buzzing with electricity, before their lips came crashing together, an abandonment of everything they had held back from the other. For James, this was far too late. For Lily, it was far ahead of schedule.

And yes, they understood, this was terrifying. Everything was, in fact. War raged outside, unrelenting and unrepentant, but inside the walls and next to each other, they could almost forget that. Yet equally as scary as the war was the two of them, the enormity of their feelings magnified by magic itself. After sometime, when they pulled apart (reluctantly), James beamed as Lily grinned coyly at him.

He seemed unable to form words, so he simply held her to him while he laid a small kiss on her forehead, hands still in her hair.

"We'll be alright?" she questioned him, her fingers playing with his shirt. "We'll make sure that this isn't a phase?"

He snorted good humoredly. "I'm _positive_. This isn't anything that's going to go away." And she couldn't help the giddiness inside her, for the first time in a long time feeling nothing but pure joy (as well as that other thing she still didn't want to admit, not yet). There was one thing, however, still out of place.

"So" she muttered, still playing with his soft tee shirt, "Petunia doesn't want me home for Christmas," she reminded him quietly. He nodded.

"I remember," he told her as he moved a strand of her hair from in front of her face, just as he did the last time they spoke of Petunia. Only now, he showed no shame in allowing his fingers to lazily brush over her forehead. "And that's absolute rubbish."

"Exactly. Break is next week and I still haven't written mum anything. So," she smiled brightly up at him and cupped his cheek, "I was thinking I'd tell her that I'll be staying at home for break. With my boyfriend."

He didn't answer, however, because as soon as she had said "boyfriend," he lifted her lips back to his and resumed where they had left off. He pulled away sooner than Lily expected, and she released a small, pathetic gasp. He hovered his mouth directly over hers.

"Say it again."

"Boyfriend." And she smiled. He came ever so closer to her mouth as he whispered once more.

"Again."

"_My _boyfriend." A slow, indulgent kiss.

"For you, Lily," James told her after, without a hint of a joke, "anything."

And he was her perfect match, according to obvious laws of magic. She'd always been a logical girl, so why deny this now obvious truth? In her seventeen years, Lily had known more loss than the average teenager— Petunia to pettiness, Snape to hatred, her father to cancer. And while nothing could fill those holes completely, she understood that James came as close as anything else to making her whole, more herself than she had been with anyone else.

Some people defined it as "soul mates," and Lily knew the literal meaning of that.


End file.
